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Moving forward

Choices of Strength and Healing

  • To choose life.
  • To have deep inner reasons to live.
  • To find safety if suicidal feelings are not controllable.
  • To hunger for truth, despite the pain, for freedom.
  • To take charge of one’s memory work.
  • To be a loving parent to one’s child parts.
  • To be determined to love oneself.
  • To defeat fear (except truly self-protective fear).
  • To defeat anger (except truly self-protective anger).
  • To choose sex only in true, healthy relationships.
  • To discover and process the trauma that causes parts to want to act out destructively or self-destructively.
  • To be a thriver, to have an internal locus of control.
  • To be the leader of one’s healing team.
  • To connect with others, to have close relationships.
  • To be kind and considerate of helpers and loved ones.
  • To be financially self-sufficient, or work toward this.
  • To lead. To have a mission to help others.
  • Integration (or preserving a few co-conscious parts).
  • To be spiritually cantered.

Positions of Defeat

  • To consider death as an option.
  • To simply exist or look to others for reasons to live.
  • To look to others to magically stop suicidal feelings.
  • To run from truth and hope for healing without pain.
  • To delegate memory work to therapists or others.
  • To seek an external caregiver for one’s child parts.
  • To give into feelings of unworthiness or defilement.
  • To allow life choices to be fear-driven.
  • To displace anger onto others or let inner parts do so.
  • To allow parts to sexually act out or be victimised.
  • To allow parts to be destructive or self-destructive.
  • To be a victim, to have an external locus of control.
  • To want, expect, or demand that others lead.
  • To isolate.
  • To relate to others as if they are not doing enough.
  • To expect others to take responsibility for one’s life.
  • To be childlike, to look for others to be caretakers.
  • To let dissociated parts take executive control.
  • To have a weak spiritual foundation.